Just What I Needed.

At bible study on Monday we talked a lot about pride and righteousness. Being completely honest, pride is a huge sin struggle for me. I see it in myself all the time and I am in constant prayer asking the Lord to help me battle against it and to point it out in my life. We talked about how people often tend to make "spiritual resumes" because we think it will get us closer to the Lord. ("If I read my bible everyday I will be closer to the Lord") In no way am I saying spiritual disciplines (prayer, reading your bible, going to church, etc.) aren't important, they most certainly are, but when these things are feeling like a checklist  that is when the red flag goes up. I totally do this. On weeks where I am feeling off or somehow separated from God I often think I just have to get these things done and I am all good and that is just not the case. If my heart isn't in on these disciplines  and I am not  relying on the Lord and trusting Him there is little increase to my relationship with Christ. It is easy to get caught up in this trap but I cannot reach my God through works, that is just not how it works. 

Pride is pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself. (thanks dictionary.com) I cannot take credit for anything I do because it is all the Lord working in me and that is where pride gets me. I think I am doing it all on my own and with my own power and that that is pretty great and not giving glory to God for it. In prayer I am asking the Lord to show me that I am not as good as I think I am and to remind me of how powerful He is. A Tim Keller quote stuck out to me that has been a great reminder: "We are more wicked than we ever dared to believe, but more loved than we ever dared hope." I am reminded that I am a sinner and this world makes me so wicked but because of the Holy Spirit and Gods amazing grace he loves me more than I can ever imagine and I need to give him glory for all the amazing things he helps me accomplish. 

I listened to another Passion podcast that my wonderful friend sent me. The title of it was: "The Next Christians: How a generation is restoring faith." It was all about how different college students are today and how to be a Christian in this day. A big question he raised was:  "What does it look like to move forward being faithful to the gospel and having credibility to share with others?" He shared how college students are generally skeptical towards anyone or anything that claims something of absolute certainty. Meaning, I am 100% certain in Christ and that kind of freaks people out. He also talked about how in this day so many religions are just accepted in society where as in the past Christianity and Christian ideas were the things that built people up. This next part really got to me. He went on to explain the views that non-Christians tend to have a Christians based on a recent survey. They stated Christians were old fashioned, too political, and only interested in getting them saved, not being their friends. That is so sad to me and I sincerely apologize to those who were made to feel that way. People should be seeing Jesus in me not judgement. 

On to this weekend!! Cru had a weekend retreat called fall getaway this weekend. It was so wonderful to get off campus and just refresh and relax without feeling any pressure. First of all, the speaker was wonderful. He was from University of Illinois Cru and really presented the gospel in such a relatable way. He shared how when I accepted Christ my life my body was no longer mine-it was Gods. In the gospel God gives us himself in Jesus to live a life we couldn't live on our own, perfect and sinless. Isn't that pretty great?! He also shared that God's ultimate motive in being in our lives is to bring glory to Himself. He pointed out something very cool in a perspective I had never really thought of. He said that God is self-centered (or God centered) because if God values anything more important than Himself He would be practicing idolatry. God would be unrighteous if He didn't praise Himself because there is nothing greater than His own glory. WOW. God is so majestic that He is worthy of all the glory!! 

We also had a great opportunity to go sit out by a lake on a beautiful sunny day and just spend time with the Lord. It was so nice that they cut out that time for us because it is so easy to get caught up in the weekend and not take enough time by yourself, just you and the Lord. I was praying and asking the Lord to continue to cut down my pride, help me have grace in a relationship I am really struggling with, and to help me trust Him with some things that are happening in the future. I am reading Matthew right now and I came across these three verses all in one chapter: 

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them." (Matthew 6:1)

"If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." (Matthew 6:14)

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles on its own." (Matthew 6:34) 

Crazy right? God knows how to give me just what I need at just the right time. The coolest thing was this was all Jesus giving advice to his disciples. I was given advice straight from Jesus. Oh man what a blessing. 

The final thing to talk about this weekend was the social stuff. Friday and Saturday night we all hung out at The Lodge which was a place with games and food and just hanging out. It is always fun to get to hang out with people when they are not focused on school and just focused on the present time and being there. Life should always be like that but there is always another thing you have to do. I got the privilege of getting to know some of our staff's kids this weekend. I just love kids and definitely miss my sweet kids back home. It was kind of nice on my getaway to spend some time away from the typical college life of always being with college students and be goofy with some kids. Kids always remind me of what it looks like to have unconditional love and what Jesus' love looks like. No matter how I sin or what I do I am always loved. 

Praise to God for giving me just what I needed this weekend and I hope those who were there (or not!) got just what they needed from God this weekend. 

Love you all! 
Allison