In the summer I am so blessed to nanny two amazing boys with special needs.
Although sometimes we have some tough times with behavior I could not imagine
spending my time any other way. The joy that I get from my kids is incomparable
to any worldly thing there is. I truly see the love of God in the unconditional
love that they show me every day. One of the boys that I nanny celebrated his
nineteenth birthday yesterday. He had asked for a cell phone for his birthday
and at 8:00 last night I could ten thousand phone calls from my wonderful friend
Elliot. I may have had homework to do but hearing his voice and hearing him
tell me he loved me and missed me made me feel so loved and cared about. I am
totally a words of affirmation person so talking to Elliot is just the best. He
called me multiple times last night and eventually I stopped answering but got
the treat of listening to the voicemails, each one ending with, “okay, call me
maybe”. How could you not love this kid?
Another exciting thing that happened this week is that I
signed a lease on a house with four other women of God. I am beyond excited! I have
been scouring Pinterest looking for inspiration to decorate our future home
with. Aside from decorating and the logistical things I am most looking forward
to people coming over and feeling like our home is their home too. It is going
to be an amazing crazy adventure to take care of a huge five bedroom house but
I just know the intrinsic rewards will prove worthwhile.
I am currently reading a book called “The Bondage Breaker”
by Neil T. Anderson. (Highly recommended!)
This book is all about overcoming negative thoughts and has a lot to do
with spiritual warfare. (The unseen world affecting the seen world) As I was reading
it this week I came across something that I never really realized. I knew Jesus
came down to earth as a human but I don’t think I quite realized the life he
lived. The book starts to make a distinction between temptation and sin. It
defines temptation as “an enticement to live independently from God” whereas
when we sin we are living independent lives of God. When Jesus came down to
this earth Satan tempted him and tried getting in his head. It was a cool to realize
how tempted Jesus was on this earth and yet he never sinned. It is so nice to
have a relatable God who knows exactly what temptation feels like all the time
and when you do fall into the trap of sin has so much grace and forgiveness for
you. One of the biggest things I have found myself learning is how to combat the
negative thoughts satan puts in my head. When satan tells me I am weak I am
reminded that God is my strength.
This past winter I went to Passion Conference, basically it
is a mega conference in the Georgia Dome with lots of speakers and great worship.
I was re-listening to a man named Francis Chan’s talk from that week. His main
point was how much power the Bible has. He talked about how we need to be so
consumed in the word that we begin to have the mindset of people in the Bible.
We need to 100% believe in the fact that Jesus raised a man from the dead and
how capable and willing he is to communicate with us. I was really shown this
week how important it is to know the word well. If we don’t know the word well
how can we expect to be able to defend our faith and our God. Often we hear people teach on the bible and
we don’t know that what they are saying is true. I desire to know the word well
enough that when someone preaches on a passage I can believe what they are
saying because I know exactly what is in the bible.
Heaven has also been on my mind a lot lately. Francis also
preached on how excited God is to be in heaven with me. I think often times I look at myself as a sinner in disgust not
as the beautiful person filled with the Holy Spirit that God sees me as and that
then makes God see me as perfect. God loves us so much that he cannot wait to
celebrate with us and allow us to witness perfection in Him. This week I have
kind of been in a funk and the promise of heaven is always something that
brings me joy. The thought of never being in a funk ever again is such an
exciting, amazing promise.
Something I have always struggled with but am just realizing
how big of an issue it is now is seeking acceptance in people. I have these strong
expectations for people and it isn’t realistic that everyone is going to meet
my seemingly perfect expectations. God has shown me this week that people will
let me down but He never will. I was skyping a dear friend Andrea a few weeks
ago who constantly is speaking truths about Jesus in my life. As soon as I say
something I am struggling with she combats it with something great about Jesus
and some pretty great advice. Something that stuck with me and I wrote down after
our last conversation was this: “People will let you down, but God will never
let you down.” It is amazing to me how God uses people to constantly remind me
of his love and his truths.
I thank all of the wonderful people who have been there for
me and never left my side, if you
know me well you know how big of a deal it is to me to have people not turn on
me. It is people like you who I see so much of Jesus in.
I want to close with a quote from a devotional I am reading.
I was talking with a friend yesterday about how when the weather changes life
seems so dark and then I read this. “Look into my face and feel the warmth of
my Love-Light shining upon you. It is unconditional love that frees you from
both fears and sins. Spend time basking in the light of my presence.”
God speaks in beautiful ways. I am continuing to prayerfully rest in the
light of my great God this week and I pray the same for you!!
Love,
Allison
