Goodness.

Being home has been a crazy blur! 

I have done so many things I don't even remember what day some of them were! I went to a basketball supporting one of my friends who survived her treatment for breast cancer, I saw The Nutcracker, I hung out with one of my teachers who has become one of my dear friends, I went to a fifth birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, and I had a fun green themed evening with my sister and her friend! (we had Grinch floats, made corn flake wreaths, and watched The Grinch) 

After all of this I found myself getting caught up in all of these things and not paying attention to myself in multiple ways. 

One of these ways was physical. My throat started hurting the night after I got home and it just went down hill from there. I wasn't sleeping enough and I wasn't eating well and it messed me up. I am still feeling sick but I don't have strep throat so that is definitely a plus! I have a cough now but hopefully my body flushes this illness out quickly!! 

The next way I haven't been caring for myself since I have been home is spiritually. I have been getting into the Word pretty consistently but I have found myself not taking advantage of that time but instead just looking at it as something to check off my daily to do list or replacing it with something that I trick myself into thinking is better. 

Anyways, I am thankful to have realized all of this so that I can be more aware of it over the rest of break. 

I have been really thankful that God has been showing me a lot about grace this week. I feel like He has put me in specific situations where I have to give some extra grace. It is such an important way to show others Christ in me and something I need to be more intentional with while I am home where it is so much harder to do. 

As far as my family goes being home has been better than I expected. There has definitely been fights and rough days but overall we have laughed a lot and have been getting along pretty well. 

I am really thankful that although it can be hard to be home and not have a ton of friends here I have friends at school who have been keeping in contact with me, holding me accountable, and Snapchatting me! ;) 

It is so fun that even when I am not with my friends we can still talk often. It is so valuable to me. I already know it is going to be hard to be away from my close friends for three more weeks but at least social media makes it possible to keep in touch when we are apart! 

As Christmas is rapidly approaching I am realizing more and more every day the importance of remembering daily the reason for the season. Not only is it important to remember this but it is important for me to live this out all the time. As I am doing a study on advent I am learning what that looks like. 

After the shooting that occurred this week I was kind of shaken up. As a future educator it got me thinking how I would react in that situation. It is scary to think about the ways people act and the ways people are affected by others behavior. 

It also made me think about God's consistency again. No matter what evil and bad things happen in the world God is always good and he is always watching out for us. To be honest, it was hard for me not to doubt Gods goodness in this situation but then it hit me-people are broken, God can never be broken. 

How could I possibly doubt the goodness of an unbreakable God? 

It just made me all the more thankful and humbled that I am a servant of a perfect and holy God. 

Thanks for reading friends! I pray you are enjoying your break! Please let me know if there are any ways I can be praying for you! 

Sending love from Naperville! 
Allison 

Stand Firm.

I am writing this post at a time of struggle. 

I was really excited to go home this weekend and am now dreading it. I was even making a Christmas bucket list that I was looking forward to accomplishing with my sister and friends (not that that won't still happen) but then my mom told me she is struggling with something again that makes me so angry. 

I didn't even know how to react. The first reaction that I had was to just cry. I hurt for her. I long for her to be healthy. I want going home to be good but I just know due to my anger it is going to be hard to control that.

After crying and being VERY angry and both of us sending angry and hostile texts back and forth I had to stop and just think. 

I first had to remember promises of my perfect Parent. My parents, my siblings,and my friends will never be the way I want them to be and I need to accept that they aren't perfect and remember that I have a perfect God who meets and exceeds all exceptions. (This is something I have been wrestling with all semester.)

I came to the realization that I struggle and have temptations too and if God has grace for me then he most definitely has grace for my mom. I was also reminded that her sin struggles are in no way better or worse than mine. We are on even ground and I need to be respectful to her because of that. 

I realized all these things about my mom but I also realized some things about myself and my personal relationship with the Lord in these few short hours. It always amazes me how God can use such a negative situation positively. 

I was listening to a song by The David Crowder Band (my favorite Christian band) and one of the lyrics was "what I need is for you to bring me back on my feet." 

That is exactly what I needed. I needed to be encouraged by the Lord that he is constant and always there and he did just that. He showed me that only he can bring me back on my feet and back into a firm relationship with Him. Just as the name of this blog states, God brought me light today. He showed me the importance of standing firm on his name. 

I know I am going to need to rely on God so much as I go home and to fight the good fight. My prayer as I go home for myself is that God would deliver me, guide me, and strengthen me because I am going to need these things.

The really cool thing is that God can take hold of this if I give it up to him and I am grateful for his ability to do so. I know God can pull me through any and all situations that I will ever face and I am thankful for the promise of a perfect eternity. 

I am praying that I am seeking to find worth in the Lord and in His love for me rather than the lack of care I am feeling from people and in the world. 

To a few happier things...this morning I got to babysit with a friend for the staff kids for Cru. It is always nice to get off campus and kids make me so happy so that was really great to do that. 

I really am excited for my winter break bucket list!! I will probably end up blogging about it a couple times over break! I have a huge list of like thirty things so hopefully I get them all accomplished. 

In Nineteen days I leave on my cruise! Another very exciting thing to look forward to. 

Friends, thank you for reading and partnering in life with me. I really appreciate you. 

Enjoy your breaks and good luck on the rest of your finals (if you have them!)!

Love you all! 
Allison 

Constant.

I remember previously writing that I would come back from Polar Bear with my sweet kids and be so happy and oh boy is that an accurate statement! 

I went home on Thursday and was able to spend the night at home hanging out with my family (and cuddling with my kittens!) which was really great! I am learning to be more thankful and gracious towards my family and that is really important. 

I had the whole day Friday to just be at home because we weren't leave till five so it was nice to have a day to sleep in till eleven and watch t.v. and just take some time to rest. Rest is so important for me because I often find myself bouncing from one activity to the next without much thought. 

My mom dropped me off at the office building we all meeting at and I was instantly greeted with a million "ALLISON'S!" and hugs from my sweet kids. Immediately I felt a sense of joy and peace rush through my whole body. I was home and with those who love me so unconditionally and those who showed me what it looked like to be unconditionally loved by a gracious God. 

The weekend consisted of clubs with fun music and great talks, a color war, playing Phase 10, an open mic night, and a dance party. It was fun to just be there and be able to be silly and see kids see Jesus. 

The boy that I was working with for the weekend is just wonderful. We were singing the song "How He Loves" which has been a theme for our clubs since the beginning of the year and this boy (who is non-verbal) was smiling and looking up almost like he was feeling Jesus it was the coolest thing! :) 

I came home and headed back to campus ready to finish out the semester. 

I was talking to a friend yesterday about my growth this semester. I haven't really given myself time to think about the ways that I have grown so it was good to talk about it with her. I realized that I learned a lot about Gods consistency. 

In the past it has been easy for me to base my relationship with Christ on emotions but I am learning how powerful it is to rely on God no matter my emotions and I have seen a huge change in the way I look at my relationship with God. 

It brings me so much joy to know that His love never changes. 

I am doing an advent study right now and it is really cool to see it start from the beginning in Genesis. In the garden when Adam and Eve first fell into sin and became the broken and sinful people that we are today God made it clear that there was a promise for a redeemer. 

"And I will put an enmity between you and woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15

The enmity spoken of in this verse is grace. God is going to return Eve to himself and away from Satan. The between "your offspring and hers" is referring to those who love self and those who love God. 

Even in the very beginning of the creation of man the promise of a savior was made. I can honestly say I have never explored this or realized this in this way so that was really cool. It is so great to see how constant God has been since the very beginning. 

I am ready for the semester to be over but I am not ready to leave campus. It is always hard to go home on a break especially when community is lacking at home. However, I know the Lord will provide women to hold me accountable and to be in community with because God provides and he is good. 

My family is going on a cruise for a week though so that will be pretty darn great! :) 

Please let me know if there is any way I can be praying for you! Be bold this week, friends. Be bold in prayer, in conversation, and in relationships. I thank and praise God for all of you reading. 

Thanks for reading I am so blessed to have such great friends! :) 

Love, 
Allison