Adopted.

Friends:

I am experiencing some tough things right now.

I get so upset with myself when I let things with my family consume me again. I have to consistently bring myself back to promises about Christ when I get into times like these.

Right now I am feeling so down and depressed. I cannot remember the last time I have felt this down and so it is really frustrating to me to be feeling this way. Lately I have been experiencing such joy in Christ despite circumstances but I think this just put it over the edge.

I did have something cool happen today, though. I have been really processing through the importance of prayer before diving into the Word and before turning to people amidst times of struggle and temptation instead of God.

Today as I was walking to my favorite coffee shop and I was hoping that someone would be there that I could talk to about all of the things going on. As I was processing that,  I stopped my thoughts and lifted up my concerns to my Heavenly Father. Praise God for answered prayer in revealing to me times when I need to be in communication with Him instead of going right to humans.

To be honest, my feelings still haven't really changed but it was a good reminder for me to know the importance of relying on the Lord to get me through.

Praise God for being consistent through all of my crazy emotions and all of the trials of this life. 

This weekend I went home with a friend for Easter (my family was out of town) and had some conflict with my parents on Saturday and due to lack of time and desire (mostly the latter) I avoided even thinking about it but it still affected every fiber of my being.

It made me doubt the joy that I can have in Christ. It made me doubt that Christ is a constant in my life when everything else seems to be going haywire. Today, I am resting in and constantly reminding myself of Gods nature.

Of His love for me and his desire to be a part of my life. Of His amazing promise of an eternity with Him after a faithful life on this earth. As a dear friend put it yesterday, "lets just go to live an alternative reality where there is no sin or commitments or things that suck. Wait. That's heaven. So ready for that!"  I can't wait for that day!

But while I am here and living my life on earth I must return to the presence of my great God. I must depend on the power of the Holy Spirit to get me through my days and not on my own power. I must give all of my life to Christ to use for his glory rather than using things that are happening in my life for pity or to glorify myself.

There it is, dear friends. All on the line in front of your eyes. I am broken and things get messy but this life is a blessing from a God who will never abandon me in my time of need and even better, has adopted me as His daughter forever. 

I am so grateful for my brothers and sisters in Christ who have the ability to point me back to the gospel. It makes my heart happy to be striving after Jesus with all of you and your ability to love me in the midst of my brokenness!

Thanks for reading friends! I really love you all! (Here is a video of how God continues to shape and transform my life! Please let me know if you have any questions! :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LMUrRW3zQM)