Your Will Be Done.

I know I just blogged like two days ago but God is teaching me some pretty sweet things this week and I just wanted to share!

In the last two days the story of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane has come up in my times with the Lord and it has proven to be a huge blessing and given me a whole new outlook on Jesus and how my walk with God should reflect His.

 It is so cool how in this part of the Bible I get to experience Jesus as a human. I get to see how He struggled too and it just makes it even easier to relate to Jesus when I see Him in such a vulnerable state. In the book I am reading (Living the Cross Centered Life-I know I have mentioned it a lot but it is rocking me right now!) it talks about how the cross brought feelings of abandonment to Jesus. The pain that Jesus is waiting to experience on the cross is that of abandonment from His Father, he was separated from God in the garden when His purpose of going there was to get comfort from Him.

It has just been made more and more clear to me how much Jesus loved me to do what He did for me and you. Jesus took this cup with no bitterness for his people but instead humbly took it for those who oppose Him.

It is so cool to me when Jesus uses His Word to help me relate to Him. Earlier this semester I was struggling with not feeling as pursued by people as I desired to be and one of my friends pointed out to me that I am experiencing what God experiences all the time with His people. People never pursue God the way he would desire them to and I got to taste a tiny piece of what God feels.

Now I am having a similar experience and it is so amazing. I praise God for the feelings of abandonment I have felt in my life because he is using that to show me how He felt when heading to the cross. Certainly mine and Jesus' life are in different contexts but we both had feelings of abandonment toward our fathers.

I pray as I come back to seasons where abandonment is a more prevalent issue that I would draw back to the garden and remember Jesus' response. That even when its hard to say "Yet not what I will, but what you will" that I would remember that it is worth it to follow Gods will in times of struggle because Jesus thought I was worth it. Jesus meant it, wholeheartedly when he said that he desired Gods will to be done in His life even if it meant times of pain and suffering. Let this be my prayer.

As I look at things that I desire in my life I look back at my prayer life. The second place the garden has come up is in the She Reads Truth study on prayer. Right now it is talking about prayers of petition.  In the garden, Jesus petitions and asks God to remove the cup but He also submits the cup to His Father and trusts God to give Him what He needed because after all God knows best! :)

I am learning how much a struggle this idea of trusting God with what I need is. It is easy for me to think that I know what I need better because I know myself better. Wrong. When I pray for something I must remember that prayers are answered in God's timing and in Gods way and that the prayers I pray must be on Gods heart. God knows what is best for me and if I just submit His will will be done.

Isn't God amazing?! I am beyond grateful for the way He is drawing me closer to Him as I prepare to go to Berlin for Summer Project!

Just an update on support! I am at $3,370!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! As I continue to prepare I ask that you be praying for my heart to continue to grow for sharing the gospel with those who are lost

I would love to be praying for you send any requests my way!

Sending love!

Allison