Forgiven.

This week has just been wonderful. There has been a handful of birthday surprises still coming in and some wonderful convictions and truths about the Lord being so evidently revealed.

Last night at the weekly meeting for Cru the speaker spoke so much truth into my heart. As my friend pointed out it is the coolest thing when you feel like you are the only one in the room during a teaching. It is as if the speaker is talking directly to you and right into your life. That was my feelings exactly last night.

It is crazy how the Lord uses something so hard to point out some tough sin issues.I have been struggling with my dad since I came back to campus and the sin that is behind that was made so clearly evident to me yesterday.

The topic was forgiveness. Something that is a major struggle for me. It is easy for me to hold bitterness and anger against people. I remember when I was dealing with my dad my senior year my mom would always tell me not to let my dad take up space negatively impacting my thoughts and my life. That is exactly what is happening...I am letting my problems with my dad occupy every aspect of my life without even realizing it sometimes.

Then came the huge reality check.

Matt (the speaker) started out by sharing that the nature of human relationships is that people will sin against  me and I will sin against other people. Yikes. It really stinks that this is how relationships on earth must be but man does it make me even more excited to be in heaven and to be thankful for the consistent relationship I can be in with Jesus while on this earth, and rest in the promise that he will never ever sin against me.

As Matt was introducing his message he said "Maybe your parents are divorced and one is being selfish towards you...". Boom. That is my life. It suddenly felt even more applicable to my life. So then my question was well how do I do this? I knew it wouldn't be an easy thing to do but I was excited to see how the Lord was going to speak into my heart through this message.

He shared that I have a debt I cannot pay on my own because of how many times I sin against God and therefore my only hope should be in relationship with Christ because only he can make payment for me, and he has. So cool!

In having this relationship with Christ my attitudes should change from having a hardened heart towards people who wronged me to being able to extend forgiveness because of the grace I have experienced in Christ.

He then touched on the topic of emotions. I am a super emotional person so this was actually super helpful. He said that my negative emotional response to something is a clear indicator that something is wrong, especially if you can't stop thinking about it. Going back to what my mom says-if these negative responses are pulling me away from other things I am clearly sinning. This was probably the hugest take away that I got from this message because it so true and I have never really thought about it before.

I will leave you one last thought about the message...Jesus is the only person who will ever forgive more than be forgiven. Can I get an amen?!

To completely switch topics I was journaling today and was just thinking where I would be if I hadn't found Christ. I would be in such a dark and lonely place and would try to be filling my heart with worldly things that would never satisfy this God-sized hole in my heart. It just made me extra thankful that I have been able to find full satisfaction in Christ and that I am no longer lonely. Praise God for his goodness and constant faithfulness.

One last thing- I put in my deposit to go to Berlin, Germany for five weeks this summer! Can't wait to see the ways the Lord is going to work there as well as here as we prepare to go! :)

Praise Jesus with arms wide open this week- He is worth it!

Thanks for reading! Love you all!
Allison