Obedience.

God is so good. Sounds super cliche and like something everyone says but gosh, all I can do right now is praise God for the way He is working in my life. The joy that my Savior is bringing me right now is uncontrollable to hold in. I have had this continuous grin across my face since returning from my Spring break trip in Panama City Beach, Florida. 

This past week I had the opportunity to share the gospel on the beaches with college students. Throughout the week we attended conference sessions where we were trained in evangelism and motivated by the word of God. 

Throughout the week I uncovered some major sin issues that I was struggling with. One of the biggest things I realized was how much of my worth I was putting in my relationships with my family and friends. My relationship with God depended on how my relationships were going with those closest in my life and I quickly realized how harmful this is to my relationship with the Lord. 

Along with the sessions we also had lots of time to just hang out, laugh, and be silly. We spent our nights getting Shamrock Shakes and playing games. It was so fun just to enjoy each others company in an atmosphere that was laid back and minus the pressure of always having somewhere to be or something to do. 

Transitioning back to campus was a lot easier than I expected it to be. School work and the weather (although it wasn't that warm in PCB) were the only places that I found it difficult to transition back. I am struggling to find motivation to accomplish my school work but yesterday I sat at my favorite coffee shop and did homework for four hours and it allowed me to accomplish lots of my school work which was good. When I get those times of motivation I just have to run with it. 

In the days since being back I feel like I have been learning more about Jesus and His reasons for coming to earth. 

I started reading Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney over break and this book has just rocked me already and I am only on like chapter three. Here is a quote that has been centering my life since being back on campus: 

"Jesus' anguish on this earth was infinitely darker than any other death-shadowed valley you or I will pass through, but by better understanding his suffering, we'll grow in consistent joy and zeal that will equip us for whatever trials God brings our way in the process of sanctification."

So cool. As I was reading my devotional for She Reads Truth today my world was rocked again by Jesus. In this plan we are reading through the Songs of Ascents and today's reading was Psalm 131 and Philippians 2:3-11. The heading for today's devotional content was humility. Pride is something that I have struggled with a lot in the past so when anything relating to humility normally strikes a special cord in my mind. So, here is what I learned! 

When we think of Jesus as humble we think he was humble because he came down to earth as a man and our go to answer for why is because he loved us. This is true but there is so much more. In reading this I came to the realization that that this is exactly what I was thinking. I thought I fully understood humility but there is more to the story. 

Jesus came to earth and humbled himself because his Heavenly Father asked Him to. He lived and died for the glory of God. Jesus dying on the cross was an act of obedience. This is the life I want to live. I pray my life is reflective of Jesus in this life, that if my Heavenly Father asks me to do something I would do it even if it meant giving up comfort or even dying a death incomparable to all other suffering I have ever experienced like Jesus did. This obedience is where I miss the mark. Granted, I will always miss the mark, and that is why I need a Savior, but I so desire to live a life of obedience. That is the definition of humility to me- surrendering to my Savior and being obedient to his call. 

"When we think of how and why He died, our thoughts should be on how amazing it was He could follow the path set for him to the very end, even while we turned our backs on Him and He had His heart break for us." 

That's it folks. That is what I see as humility. Even though we as humans turned our back on Jesus he still followed the path laid out for Him by God for His people. For me and for you. I look at my life and I wonder if the people in my life turned their backs on me would I still sacrifice my life for them? I have struggled with the fear that people would turn on me for a long time. But right now Jesus is meeting me where I am at and proving to me that it is worth it. That even if people turn their backs on me He will remain faithful and he proved that with the Cross. 

On a closing note here is something my friend Nicole and I realized today (verbal processing is the best!):

The sufferings God put me through on this earth was preparing my heart for this realization. That in the midst of the suffering I am dealing with in this world, I was able to relate to Christ and He used my trials to help me understand just a tiny part of what Jesus went through when He went to the cross for me.

What a Savior.

Love, 

Allison