Support Letter

Dear Friends and Family:

                I hope that this letter finds you well. Let me take a minute to update you on my life!  I am currently a sophomore at Illinois State University and am studying special education. I am very excited because next semester I will begin my major courses and will really start pursuing my passion of working with children with special needs. In addition to school and studies, I am involved in a ministry on campus called Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ). Cru is an international organization that meets on over 3,500 campuses throughout the world.  The Lord has used Cru over the past two years to grow my dependence on Him and break my heart for the lost on campus and around the world.

This summer, I have been given the opportunity to follow God’s call on my heart to Berlin, Germany. Berlin is considered to be a “hub for the nations.” Berlin is home to over 100,000 college students from nearly every country in the world. It also boasts the second highest population of Turkish people outside of the country of Turkey. By sharing the gospel and reaching students in Berlin, we really do have an opportunity to reach the world. My team of 15 college students and I will spend five weeks allowing the Lord to use us on the three main campuses in the city. In addition to this work, I will be blessed to acquire valuable leadership skills, to meet with a discipler, to grow in understanding of God’s word, and to gain experience that will help me become a lifelong laborer for Christ.

In order for all of this to be possible, I need to develop a team of Ministry Partners. There are two different but equally important ways that you can join my team to reach the city of Berlin, Germany and help expand God’s eternal kingdom.  The total cost of my five weeks in Berlin is $5700. Raising this amount of money is very scary and requires me to take a huge step of faith in relying on the Lord but I am confident that He will provide. Would you prayerfully considering coming alongside me with a donation of $100, $50, or some other amount? One other amount that I would like to challenge you to prayerfully consider is the amount of $150—the cost of all of my expenses for one day in Berlin. Of course, any donation is appreciated.

As I prepare, I ask for prayer that I would trust the Lord and that I would be confident that He is going to use my time there. While I am there, I ask that you pray for the health of my team, that we would bond well, for safety, and that any anxieties I have about sharing my faith would be calmed. I also ask that you would pray that the Lord would, right now, be softening the hearts of students we will talk to and opening the door for significant spiritual conversations.

Thanks for taking time to read and for your willingness to consider supporting me. Because I will be travelling internationally and it will be difficult for me to stay in contact, I will be regularly blogging to keep my supporters updated.  My blog link is: Godislightallisonneal.blogspot.com. Thank you again!

In Him,

Allison Neal

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yes! I would love to to partner with you in ministry to bring the gospel to university students in Berlin! 

• enclosed is a check made out to "Cru" for $___________
• I've given a gift of $__________ towards your ministry online at https://give.cru.org/068454
• I'm not able to give financially at this time, but want to pray for your summer project in Berlin. 
• I want to sponsor you for a day and have enclosed a $150 check. 
• I've included prayer requests or personal updates on the back ---->

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gratitude.

Wow has it been a long time since I last posted.

I have been so insanely busy with exams since I need to do well this semester that I haven't given myself time to even think about my walk with the Lord or give thanks for the life he has given me. (Probably the biggest thing I have been realizing has been lacking in my life lately.)

Because of my exams and being so stressed I haven't really been in the Word which is something that typically I make sure is part of my day. Now that my exams are over I feel like I can breath a little but I definitely need to figure out how to balance school work and my time with the Lord.

I see such a difference in myself when I regularly am studying and digging into the Word in comparison to when that is lacking in my life. I find so much more joy in my life when I am daily spending time getting closer to the Lord.

Lately, even when I do spend daily time with the Lord I find myself just not feeling connected. Like there is some barrier between me and the Lord that is causing me to feel a lack of relationship. My whole life relies on a God that I can't seem to connect to right now.

My prayer is that I will find fulfillment in Christ whether or not I "feel" God because in reality is He is so constant that there is no struggle on this earth that could ever put a barrier between me and my relationship with the Lord.

I am reading a book right now which is at least helping me keep track with thinking about the Lord on a more consistent basis during the week. It is called 1,000 gifts and is a book about the importance of expressing thanksgiving to the Lord as a part of growing closer to Christ.

Since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve we, as broken people, have dealt with feelings of ingratitude toward what God has given us.

For Adam and Eve they weren't happy with what God gave them in the garden and yearned for more, for something different, for something of the world they thought would make them more content with God.

For me, the struggle with ingratitude has left a major hold on my relationship with the Lord. I am discontent with the things that God has given me and struggle with the fact that Jesus' death on the cross and a personal relationship with Him has possibility to provide so much more satisfaction than anything else this world could provide.

Just the fact that Jesus did die on the cross is enough; on top of that he has given me wonderful friends who also love Jesus, a family, and the ability to have a personal relationship with Him. So why is there still this frustrating gap I feel between me and God?

I wish that I had the answer to this question. That's where I am at.

This weekend I am heading to Indy to go to a conference called Every Student Sent. I am so excited! It is all about continuing to follow the Lord after college and I have heard its wonderful!

Thanks for reading friends! :)
Love,
Allison

Forgiven.

This week has just been wonderful. There has been a handful of birthday surprises still coming in and some wonderful convictions and truths about the Lord being so evidently revealed.

Last night at the weekly meeting for Cru the speaker spoke so much truth into my heart. As my friend pointed out it is the coolest thing when you feel like you are the only one in the room during a teaching. It is as if the speaker is talking directly to you and right into your life. That was my feelings exactly last night.

It is crazy how the Lord uses something so hard to point out some tough sin issues.I have been struggling with my dad since I came back to campus and the sin that is behind that was made so clearly evident to me yesterday.

The topic was forgiveness. Something that is a major struggle for me. It is easy for me to hold bitterness and anger against people. I remember when I was dealing with my dad my senior year my mom would always tell me not to let my dad take up space negatively impacting my thoughts and my life. That is exactly what is happening...I am letting my problems with my dad occupy every aspect of my life without even realizing it sometimes.

Then came the huge reality check.

Matt (the speaker) started out by sharing that the nature of human relationships is that people will sin against  me and I will sin against other people. Yikes. It really stinks that this is how relationships on earth must be but man does it make me even more excited to be in heaven and to be thankful for the consistent relationship I can be in with Jesus while on this earth, and rest in the promise that he will never ever sin against me.

As Matt was introducing his message he said "Maybe your parents are divorced and one is being selfish towards you...". Boom. That is my life. It suddenly felt even more applicable to my life. So then my question was well how do I do this? I knew it wouldn't be an easy thing to do but I was excited to see how the Lord was going to speak into my heart through this message.

He shared that I have a debt I cannot pay on my own because of how many times I sin against God and therefore my only hope should be in relationship with Christ because only he can make payment for me, and he has. So cool!

In having this relationship with Christ my attitudes should change from having a hardened heart towards people who wronged me to being able to extend forgiveness because of the grace I have experienced in Christ.

He then touched on the topic of emotions. I am a super emotional person so this was actually super helpful. He said that my negative emotional response to something is a clear indicator that something is wrong, especially if you can't stop thinking about it. Going back to what my mom says-if these negative responses are pulling me away from other things I am clearly sinning. This was probably the hugest take away that I got from this message because it so true and I have never really thought about it before.

I will leave you one last thought about the message...Jesus is the only person who will ever forgive more than be forgiven. Can I get an amen?!

To completely switch topics I was journaling today and was just thinking where I would be if I hadn't found Christ. I would be in such a dark and lonely place and would try to be filling my heart with worldly things that would never satisfy this God-sized hole in my heart. It just made me extra thankful that I have been able to find full satisfaction in Christ and that I am no longer lonely. Praise God for his goodness and constant faithfulness.

One last thing- I put in my deposit to go to Berlin, Germany for five weeks this summer! Can't wait to see the ways the Lord is going to work there as well as here as we prepare to go! :)

Praise Jesus with arms wide open this week- He is worth it!

Thanks for reading! Love you all!
Allison

20!

So yesterday was the big day...I am officially in my twenties! That sounds so crazy to me. I was reminded by a friend that I beat teen pregnancy so that is a plus. ;)

The night before my birthday I got a package from a best friend with a picture frame of some pictures of us in it, it was great. Then we went to a basketball game and my roommate and I were on the jumbo-tron! It was so exciting!! Then mid way through the game my kids called me. They were having a movie night and they called me and sang to me and then each talked to me and then I got to talk to each of them and they each told me happy birthday. It just started my early birthday out right!

The next day was the big day. I went to church and then worked in the nursery second service.

After church we went to Flat Top for lunch (I got a free bowl for my birthday-YUM!) and it was just fun to be with friends and celebrate all together.

Afterwards my friend Autumn and I went to our favorite coffee shop and had a quiet time while I was waiting for my friend Tayler to come because we were going to hang out. She got there and we just talked about life for an hour and it was really great to get to know her better!

Then I went back to my room because my mom and my sister wanted to Skype but little did I know that they were coming to ISU to surprise me and take me to dinner! They had balloons and my mom gave me one hundred of the three hundred dollars I needed for my Berlin deposit. So cool! :)

We went shopping for a few things and then went to Biaggis for dinner. So yummy!! :) I had a free birthday dessert (creme brulee) that I was dying to use! It was just fun to have them there just to hang out with me, talk, and laugh.

After dinner my family left and I went over to my friend Autumns and she gave me an awesome canvas with Colossians 2:7 written on it and a tree on it! (I LOVE TREES!) And isn't she talented?! Then, just when I thought the birthday festivities were over my friends Matt and Tayler brought me an awesome homemade cookie cake!

I felt SO loved!

It was just a really great day. I would go as far to say this was my favorite birthday so far. I got to spend the day with people I love and people who love me. It just made it so clearly evident how blessed I am.

So just wanted to give a special thank you for all those who made my birthday so special! :)

Love you all!
Allison

Sweet love.

So folks, exciting things happening right now a midst some not so great things. I'll start with the not so great things because I want to end on a good note.

Since coming back to school I have kind of had a tough time readjusting to being back. I didn't really realize it until I was hanging out with a friend and she pointed out that I was acting weird. Because she is my best friend she noticed and no one else did because she knows me so well! I love that I have someone in my life who notices these little things about me and then helps me figure out the deeper issue.

Well, I didn't really know anything was wrong until she said something. In a sense I was avoiding dealing with these emotions that I didn't even know I was feeling.

If you read my last post you read about my struggle with my dad and how hard it is for him not to be more supportive of me. We haven't talked since I came back to school and he sent me horrible text messages that if I reread them I would probably burst into tears. He sent me an email today with more things in it about how he isn't going to support me because I failed him. I am really have a rough time dealing with it.

I won't answer his calls and just have no desire to talk to him because I know it is going to end up in a screaming match and tears will be shed and I just can't emotionally handle that right now. The funk I have been in has been affecting everyone around me.

I don't feel myself but I also know now is not a good time to have that conversation with him because I am not ready to be gracious or kind to him. I am so angry and so sad.

The biggest relationship that is affected by my relationship with my dad is my relationship with the Lord. That has been a huge part of why I have been down. I just don't feel like I am connecting with the Lord well since I have been back and that is so difficult for me to work through.

But I am constantly reminding myself of the insanely cool truths of my Heavenly Father. I can never do anything that will ever fail him and he will never fail me. He is so consistent and looks on me with so much love.

This week the phrase "your love never fails" has been running through my head. That has been the central focus to remembering these truths about the Lord. At church on Sunday I was just really distracted and wasn't getting a ton out of the message so I decided to take the last ten minutes of service to journal. I journaled about Gods love never failing and how his love will endure forever. Then after we got out of church I looked at my email. I get a verse a day from K-love radio and the verse said "Give thanks to the Lord for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." (Psalm 106:1) Super weird.

Then we got in the car and the song came on. It was then all made clear what was going on.

I guess I am struggling in feeling like God is going to feel like I failed him for something and reminding myself that that is never the case is crucial to working through this. Satan is just trying to feed me these stupid lies that I am not good enough.Thankfully no matter how much I think this I will always be good enough for God and that is good enough for me. God has this sweet love that will always be there and is so different than any other love. Amen?!

So after all that crummy stuff there is some exciting news!!

This summer with Cru I am going to Berlin, Germany for five weeks for Summer Project! Basically, I will be sharing the gospel with college students there! Leading up to this I will post more about why I am going and why I feel like it is important for me to go! Thanks for those of you who are walking in life with me through my blog and through day to day life. I am super encouraged by all of you! Please let me know if there is any ways I can be praying for you!! :)

These next couple weeks Cru is having an outreach where we are going to go talk to students about the gospel using a special survey called the "Quest Survey". Pray that students would be reached on this campus and see the beauty of life in Christ.

"The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love." (Psalm 103:8) 

Love you all!
Allison

Perfect Timing.

This is a tough post for me to write. However, I am learning the importance of being vulnerable and so I am just going to be honest with all of you. 

I got an email a couple days ago from my adviser. I knew I had a pretty tough semester grade wise this semester but I guess I didn't realize or chose not to realize how bad it was. I am not really sure which. Anyways, the email basically read that because of my grades this past semester I would not be able to register for any of my major classes. 

My heart dropped. I immediately burst into tears and must have sat looking at my computer with my mouth covered for at least five minutes repeating "oh my gosh" just completely in shock that I let myself get there. 

I called my parents and told them and their reactions could not be more opposite. My dads reaction was the hardest to hear. As a friend put it he is very goal and results oriented. He told me that until he sees results he will not support me. He claims that support is earned. Major ouch. 

I called my mom and her response was much more loving. She told me that I would get through this and continually has encouraged me to dig myself out of this. She sees the benefits of encouraging me in the moment not once I succeed. 

What I learned from both of these is again the importance of grace. However people treat me and however people act toward me I need to treat them like Christ and love them as Christ loves me. 

I have to be honest I was mad at God. I didn't want to talk to Him and I was avoiding having a quiet time like the plague. I now realize I was mad at God for interfering with the plan I had for my life. But that is not how it works, my plan doesn't matter and that was made very evident.

I finally made myself do a quiet time this morning because I knew that would be the only way I would feel better because only in Christ will I find true hope and joy. 

I am reading the bible in a year and I have been pretty behind so I wanted today to be a catch up day. The Lord totally spoke to me through His word today. Not surprising I guess but also a good reminder of the encouragement and fulfillment it provides. 

My future lies in the hands of Christ and my hope lies in the fact that my eternity is in heaven with Christ. 

Just because I have to stay an extra semester at school doesn't mean that I am any less worthy of salvation in Christ. Just because I have to retake a couple classes doesn't mean that I am seen as any less valued in Christs eyes. The lessons of this are far outweighing how much the feeling of letting down my parents and letting down myself are. 

The beautiful part is that I can never let down Christ. I will never be a failure to my Heavenly Father. I can't think of any better of a promise. 

I was pretty down for the past couple days and today was reminded of the importance of finding joy in the Lord. When I was on my cruise I read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Here is a few quotes that I found that I found really encouraging in a moment of weakness that has turned into a moment of new found strength. 

"The bible teaches us to be consumed with Christ and to faithfully live out His words, the Holy Spirit stirs in us a joy and peace when we are fixated on Jesus, living by faith, and focused on the life to come." 

"If I stop pursuing Christ, I am letting our relationship deteriorate."

This is beyond true. I haven't had a quiet time for many days. As soon as I started finding my refuge in Christ my focus became back on Him and my joy began to be found in Him again. 

Today I did my She Reads Truth study. The January study is called "Fresh Start." I just started it because I couldn't do it while I was on the cruise since I didn't have internet. Today was about Genesis 3. I have read Genesis 3 so many times that when I saw that was what it was I thought to myself "what could I possibly get out of this?" Boy was my thought process off. 

When the serpent tells Eve she can be "like God", for the first time women were discontent with the provisions of God and the one thing she couldn't have she now desires. 

Eve and myself have something in common here.We both know that there is one God and we both have everything we could need in Him. But I am all too often guilty of being in control and trying to call my own shots. 

It was made clear to me that I have taken a bite of the "guilty fruit" in that I have been discontent to trust the Lord God in the garden of provisions he has made for me. 

Could this not have been more perfect timing? I am learning the value in trusting God for His plan and the importance of not making plans on my own. This couldn't have been a more humbling and difficult experience but I must say I am grateful for friends who point me back to Christ in the tough times and for God for using His Holy Spirit and His Word to speak into my life. 

"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:56 

Thanks for reading! :) 
Love, 
Allison 

Christmas Fun.

Here is what happened pre-cruise! A new post will happen about the cruise/things I learned on it is to come soon! 

I am going to do most of this in pictures so enjoy! 

I got to babysit the boys I watch in the summer! We watched a Christmas movie and played with my cats! They love the cats!!! 

I babysat the boy that I work with at Younglife! We went to Xtreme trampoline! 

My best friend and I had a fun Christmas party with all of our kids! 

Liam dressed up as Santa! :)

My beautiful friend Michelle! 

Paige, Elliot, and I enjoying the photo booth! 

Autumn came in town for a wedding and she spent the night and we drove around with peppermint hot cocoa and looked a Christmas lights around Naperville! 

My Dad and I completed this puzzle in like five hours! 

Christmas Eve we went to church and had dinner at a yummy steak house with my dad! We spent Christmas day at my moms! 

My dad took us skiing for a couple days! 

Thanks for looking at the pictures!! :) Hope you enjoyed them! Talk to you soon! 
Love, 
Allison